lukehemmign:

whitebeltwriter:

dual-destininies:

derples:

dual-destininies:

tf2-fandomstuck:

tiniestshorts:

Bread knife

The french have grown more powerful. 

Hold it!

Look more closely at these photographs, Your Honor.

Notice anything strange about the bread?

I didn’t either. That’s because…

…no cuts were made there in the first place!

The witness forged the photographs to make it look like they had an actual bread knife, when they actually did not!

How, you ask? Look to the second photo.

While it is quite obvious that the knife is penetrating the top half of the breadstick, I’m not sure about the bottom half.

Looks pretty flat, doesn’t it?

The angle of the photo makes it look like the knife is in the witness’s breadstick, whilst it is actually behind it. In addition, the cut was actually made after the first photograph and before the second. Continue to the third photograph.

It is also taken from a flat angle, as was the second photograph. I’m sure you’re finding something missing in this photograph as well, Your Honor. Where is the index finger’s fingertip?

This illustration explains it all.

While I am… ahem, not the best artist…

(Didn’t I go to art school?)

The index finger is hidden behind the loaf of bread. It is not wrapping around the loaf of bread. This is because…

The witness was making space to put the knife’s handle!

Objection

Are you really that dull, Wright? For a man who majored in art you should be able to recognize a sculpture when you see one.

as we can see from the photos provided, this is quite obviously plastic.

if you look at any photo of real bread it can’t attain that level of shininess, and even if it could.

If you’ll notice in this picture, the bread on the inside is quite shiny, as well.

Tell me, Wright, have you ever seen real bread gleam that much? Don’t answer that, I will.

Even in this high-resolution photograph with bread that thick, it obviously wouldn’t shine on the inside when it isn’t buttered.

And it isn’t too hard to find the item in question with a quick google search.

Oh, and if you will notice, their hand was covering the seam where the bread was taken apart in the first photo with a simple comparison of the pattern on the bread.

It appears your lawyering skills are in much need of some sharpening if you expect to cut me down with that weak objection.

Edgeworth, you’re asking yourself the wrong question. It’s not “is there bread like that…”

You should be asking “can there be bread like that?”

Sweet bread can be infused with sugar or a syrup, making the outsides shinier- and the insides sweeter. Take a look.

Furthermore. there are parts of the witness’s bread knife that don’t just match up with the novelty bread knives you have presented. Take another look.

Let me point out two things about the novelty knives: one, their markings, and two, the placement of the knife itself.

In the novelty knives, the marks are artificial-looking and repeated. That is because they are manufactured. In the witness’s photo, the marks are more natural and realistic- because they are, well, real!

Furthermore, the blades on the novelty knives are in the middle of the handle.

But… look back at the witness’s photo. The knife is to the left? Where is the problem, you ask? Look at this illustration.

Here we have the knife, a piece of bread, and a table. Let’s have a go.

I’m sure you see it now, Your Honor.

The bread knife cannot actually be used to cut bread efficiently! Even if it was tilted, it would be uncomfortable and unbalanced!

The defense has an explanation for this positioning.

The blade is to the left because the witness was holding it behind the piece of bread!

what the actual fuck tumblr

» time 4 hours ago   » notes 289516

queen-juvia:

this is my favorite thing of the day

(Source: tastefullyoffensive)

» time 4 hours ago   » notes 329512
terezi-pie-rope:

nottestella:

captainkade:

talkativevantas:

crowsing:

dask-kikira:

dask-kikira:

DAD EGBERT HAS A CANON NAME.  LOOK.  FUCKING LOOK.  A LETTER ADDRESSED TO MAPLE VALLEY WASHINGTON WITH ATTN: SERIOUS BUSINESS.  DAD HAS A CANON NAME.
DR. DAVID BRINNER.  FUCK
http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=002793

GUYS IM PUSHING THIS FUCKING SHIT. THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW.

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

THIS MEANS JOHN IS ADOPTED THOUGH.


yeah

diddid you guys forget dad egbert literally picking up and taking in john after his meteor squashed nanna

the homestuck fandom forgetting the absolute basics of the comic as we continue the ninth month of the gigapause

terezi-pie-rope:

nottestella:

captainkade:

talkativevantas:

crowsing:

dask-kikira:

dask-kikira:

DAD EGBERT HAS A CANON NAME.
LOOK.
FUCKING LOOK.
A LETTER ADDRESSED TO MAPLE VALLEY WASHINGTON WITH ATTN: SERIOUS BUSINESS.
DAD HAS A CANON NAME.

DR. DAVID BRINNER.
FUCK

http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=002793

GUYS IM PUSHING THIS FUCKING SHIT. THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW.

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

THIS MEANS JOHN IS ADOPTED THOUGH.

yeah

did
did you guys forget dad egbert literally picking up and taking in john after his meteor squashed nanna

the homestuck fandom forgetting the absolute basics of the comic as we continue the ninth month of the gigapause

» time 5 hours ago   » notes 29658

terminus-est:

odins-one-eyed-fuck:

gettingcrazywiththecheezewhiz:

The dad cat liked to hang out in the sink by himself

AND THEN THE KITTENS FOUND HIM

HE LOOKS SO ANNOYED

I DIDN’T SIGN ON FOR THIS SHIT.

it literally can not get cuter than this

I will always reblog Angry Dad Cat

(Source: petrawentz)

» time 5 hours ago   » notes 350212

flyawaymax:

~*~*~**~*~*~GIVEAWAY~*~**~*~*~*~

YOU CAN WIN THIS SUPER RAD PAIR OF CAPTOR-THEMED HEADPHONES that I painted in December for 2222 followers and then forgot to give away whoops….

REBLOG THE POST likes don’t count, but I don’t care whether you’re following me. 

Giveaway winner will be chosen by a random number generator on AUGUST 1ST!!! I’ll pay for shipping!!! Have your ask box open and be willing to give me your address, though!!!

GOOD LUCK

» time 19 hours ago   » notes 608

rampant-noodle:

Send Me Your Headcanons For Me!!!

Height?:

Age?:

Voice pitch?:

Sleeping position, Do I drool or Snore in my sleep? :

Favorite Color?:

Morning, Noon, Or Evening Person?:

Anything Else?:

» time 19 hours ago   » notes 69807
let-us-get-down-my-dear-watson:

LISTEN UP
THIS IS IMPORTANT. Take a dollar and get a freaking card and send it to this kid. Heck MAKE ONE. Take 2 minutes to do something good and humanish today people. PLEASE I AM ASKING YOU TO DO THIS.
high resolution →

let-us-get-down-my-dear-watson:

LISTEN UP

THIS IS IMPORTANT. Take a dollar and get a freaking card and send it to this kid. Heck MAKE ONE. Take 2 minutes to do something good and humanish today people. PLEASE I AM ASKING YOU TO DO THIS.

» time 19 hours ago   » notes 11085

peetasallhehasleft:

maladydee:

icoulduseinsouciantmaybe:

 

I don’t give a fuck I’ll reblog this whenever I see it

always and forever reblog

(Source: whyactlikeahuman)

» time 20 hours ago   » notes 1026820

is anyone willing to be my tumblr bestie?

» time 20 hours ago
» tags #please #personal #im lonely D: 
freya-who:

patapatapatapatapatapatapatapatapatapatapatapatapatapatapata……
high resolution →

freya-who:

patapatapatapatapatapatapatapatapatapatapatapatapatapatapata……

» time 20 hours ago   » notes 22461